


stay with me

by inked (paperbacks)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Angst, Break Up, Heavy Angst, Hurt Alec, M/M, My First Fanfic, hope you like it, my take on the break up, this is my first fanfic so i have no idea what im doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-22 23:45:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18537916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperbacks/pseuds/inked
Summary: the 2 times they stayed with each other and the 1 time they didn't





	stay with me

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fanfic, so this is probably terrible and i sincerly apologize in advance.  
> follow me on twitter @magnifiquebane and on tumblr @plu-ere

1}

He chose Alec.

It was sometimes hard to believe that the great Magnus Bane, had fallen for a child of Raziel. It’s been months, years since their first encounter at the lively Pandemonium. It’s been ages since Magnus first made contact with the hazel of his eyes, the quirked corners of his mouth, and flushed cheeks with stumbling words. It’s been years since nimble fingers closed around the fabric lapels of his blazer, tugging him in to meet their lips in a passion filled frenzy. He still remembered the clumsiness of Alec’s mouth sliding against his in the heat of the moment.

Panic tore at his chest, constricting his throat with heat. He blinked his eyes to prevent the welling tears from bursting. The sheer horror of seeing Alec on the ground killed Magnus. He stumbled to Alec’s side, sinking to his knees. The ground swayed and blurred beneath him, as he saw the blood seeping through the fabric of his shirt.

He weaved their fingers as he tried to control his breathing. He couldn’t blackout now, not now.

“Stay with me,” Magnus gasped through the flame in his throat, the tears starting to dance down the curve of his cheeks. He pressed his lips together to avoid letting out a painful whimper as the blood began to flow darker against Alec’s ivory skin.

Alec let out a small grunt of pain, his hazel eyes darting to meet Magnus’. “Mom said, you’d make a dramatic entrance,” Alec winced.

Magnus let out a small exasperated huff, the love of his life was bleeding on the ground and he was joking with him.

“Wise woman,” he muttered. His heartbeat slowed down, but enough to reassure him. Steady breaths dragged in and out as he tried to clear the blur from his eyes. If he hadn’t gotten there in time-

Alec squeezed Magnus’ hand, still enclosed around his own, and shook his head as if he knew what Magnus was thinking. Magnus swallowed, trying to clear the tight lump in his throat. He trained his focus to the wound next to Alec’s heart. Death had given Magnus a wake-up call, reminding him that he could lose Alec at any given moment. Loneliness was his Achilles heel, and he never did well losing the ones he loved.

 _Stay with me_ , he voiced internally, _for the love of god,_

_please stay and never let go._

 

2}

The air felt heavy with dread looming over Alec’s shoulders, like a guillotine ready to drop at any given moment. Panic and desperation crawled up his body, consuming every molecule and setting every nerve on fire. His tongue felt like sandpaper in his mouth as he tried to push semi-coherent words from his mouth, but he couldn’t.

Magnus looked angelic against the dull sheets. His chest rose and fell, small exhales mingling with the steady beeps of the heart monitor. His inky black hair rested against his smooth skin, and his amber eyes were still underneath his lids. The corners of his lips weren’t curved with their usual endearing smirk, instead parted and cold.

The familiar acidic burn started to creep up against the hollow of his throat, and his heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. The prickling feeling of tears began to flood his mellow eyes and he took a deep shuddering breath to compose himself. He grabbed Magnus’ cool hand resting on the bed sheets and intertwined their fingers, clutching them as if he was pushing his very lifeline into Magnus’, imagining him jolting back to life.

They had been here once before, he remembered the agonizing pain of the arrowhead piercing into his skin and Magnus’ pleading voice above him. _Stay with me,_ Magnus would echo, and Alec did. Now, fate had scoffed at them, and Alec was now the one pleading.

_Stay with me._

“Magnus, I love you,” he murmured, letting his voice carry throughout the empty infirmary. “More than anyone in the world-” his voice caught at the abrupt declaration.

From the moment Magnus Bane had strolled into his life, his world had flipped on its axis. He let his gaze wander over Magnus’ face as if memorizing every detail for the last time. The mere thought of losing him sent unwelcoming shivers down his spine.

He had broken his heart in all the right ways, shaping him into the person he was today. A life without him was something Alec would never be able to get through.

“I’m so sorry.”

_Please stay._

 

3}

“I need a break from us.”

Magnus blinked once, twice, and then the message sank in. The playfulness and excitement had disappeared without a moment's hesitation. His mouth went dry and he was at a complete loss for words. He subconsciously rubbed his fingers together, the only difference was there was no spark tinging his skin.

The candlelight glow had lost its warmth, and deafening silence had filled the room. Fate had twisted its claws into his life, stripping him of everything. The pain of losing his magic was unbearable, but that was nothing compared to what was going to happen now.

"Is this about last night?" Magnus asked, using everything in his power to keep his voice steady. "Because I'm going to quit drinking."

"This isn't about your drinking," Alec said emptily, "it's about what you said, that without your magic you could never be happy.”

"I was being dramatic!" Magnus said disbelievingly. Shock began to run his nerves wild, the hollow of his chest swooned with his echoing heartbeat.

"No, you were being honest. I know the difference."

"Fine, I'm in pain," Magnus' composed demeanor fell, and he felt his walls building up, brick by brick. "But your solution to break up, how is this going to fix anything?" He helplessly searched the eyes of his love, trying to find any indication of- anything. Anything other than this moment.

Magnus saw Alec's composure falter for a brief moment until the mask covered his face once more.

"There's no fixing this," he murmured, his eyes darting around the room. Alec swallowed, the dim lighting reflecting the controlled tears in his eyes. "You said there's nothing I can do to make it better."

"It's not your job to make it better!" Magnus exploded, anger and pain consuming his heart. This wasn't happening, this wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening.

Alec shrugged the mask off, and pure undiluted pain painted his face. "Then what am I supposed to do-" his voice broke, "just stand by and watch you suffer for the rest of our lives?"

"O-ok this isn't you-" Magnus muttered to himself. "You're not this selfish. Days ago you told me that you couldn't bear to lose me." Anger coated his voice. He didn't deserve this, this pain, this suffering. Alec wasn't allowed to feel hopeless, he wasn't allowed to leave him, it wasn't fair.

It wasn't fair.

Alec finally looked into his eyes, and Magnus took it all back. "Days ago, I didn't know the spark inside of you- _the one I fell in love with_ \- was out for good."

That one hit home.

Alec nearly brushed past Magnus, until he snapped out of it and grabbed onto his jacket, pulling him in.

"No, no, no, please," Magnus begged, cupping Alec's face. "I've lost my home, my magic, I can't lose you too Alec," he whimpered, the pain in his chest becoming unbearable.

He brought their lips together and kissed him as his very life depended on it, which it did. The first time- nothing, the second time- nothing. The third time, Magnus used everything he had in him to convince Alec to stay. He imagined his magic thrumming underneath his skin, coercing him. Every fiber in his body, every nerve, every molecule was pleading for him not to leave.

"Stay with me," he murmured against Alec's lips desperately. 'Okay? C'mon stay with me.

_Please don't leave._

"Magnus, I can't."

His lips parted, and the very air in his lungs disappeared. The doorbell chimed, but it didn't register among the haze of shock clouding Magnus' mind. The air turned into an ocean, drowning him in agony, with him sinking to the absolute bottom. The pain came in sharp bursts. He gasped, clutching at his chest as if trying to expel it from his body. He fell to his knees, the tears falling in steady streams down the sharp curves of his face.

He didn't know how long he stayed in that position, it didn't matter. Only one thing was repeating in his head, words he had uttered ages ago;

Stay with me.

Stay with me.

_Stay with me._

 


End file.
